Looking way up!

Alas, the ways of man will not succeed.  The way of the King is thanksgiving, rejoicing, praise and exaltation.  This defies the heaviness of an earthbound sight, and literally brings into creation the very thing that is lacking.

When all that I can see is the dominion of darkness and how much I despise it, it has won.  The prince of the power of the air has a rule that is far inferior to that of my King, Jesus.  I fix my eyes on Him. 

Where there is injustice, look up, and see Justice.  Where there is hatred, look up, and see Love.  Where there is hopelessness, look up.  He is our Living Hope.

The war against darkness is not first won in the affairs of the earth, it is first won inside of us as Jesus is given reign in our hearts and minds.  The kingdom of God is truly within us, and it grows and advances as our hearts enthrone Jesus. How do we do this?

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise,  dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8

In our response to pressures of the world, all that threatens to prey on our peace and joy, the enemies for which we have no answer, let us look up.

“For we are powerless before this great multitude who are coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on You.” 2 Chronicles 20

What I see defines who I am becoming, part V

What I see defines who I am becoming, part V

It is not about me, yet it is. It is impossible to offer something that I am not, how can I offer peace to a world of war if within me, I have none? How can I offer love to a world bound in fear and hatred if I have not love? I’ve come to see things from a very different perspective, realizing that more important than academic knowledge or technical skills, is the ability to see and embody hope when all that is visible is despair.

I have discovered that this is my place in international engagement; to ardently hope against all odds, and in so doing, to bring a reality that has been re-named⁹, a whole story being shared, and a future that redeems its past into existance. Hope is born out of perseverance, and is not truly hope lest it touches the ordinary, speaks into the problems of daily life, and exists in and through relationship. I want to learn to have relationship with undiscovered brother and sisters around the world who continue to struggle towards justice when there is none. I want to see their stories from the inside out, not only to position myself in a theoretical way void of experience, but to recognize that my place in ethical engagement is not distance, but relationship; relationship that dismantles ‘development strategies’ and challenge hollow attempts towards economic revitalization.

References: (part I-V)

• Adichie, C. “The Danger of a Single Story” ://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html

• Freire, P. (2007). Pedagogy of the Oppressed. New York: Continuum International Publishing Group Inc. Chapter 3, pp 87-124
• Galeano, E. (1973). Open Veins of Latin America. New York: Monthly Review Press.
• Nouwen, Henri.(1975). Renewed For Life, Daily lenten meditations from the Works of Henri J. M. Nouwen. The Crossroad Publishing Company. p. 16
• Said, E. on “Orientalism” [four part documentary]retrieved 02/03/2011 from:http://youtube.com/

4 Adichie, C.

5Galeano, E. (1973) Open Veins of Latin America. New York: Monthly Review Press.

6Friere, P. (2007). Pedagogy of the Oppressed. New York: Continuum International Publishing Group Inc. Chapter 3, pp. 87-124

7Friere, Paolo

8Nouwen, Henri, Renewed for Life

9Freire, Paolo

What I see defines who I am becoming, part IV

I recently came across some words of Henri Nouwen that captured something profound for me;

As long as we imagine and live as if there is no peace in sight, and that it all depends on us to make it come about, we are on the road to self destruction. But when we trust that the God of love has already given the peace that we are searching for, we will see this peace breaking through the broken soil of our human condition and we will be able to let it grow fast and even heal the economies and political maladies of our time.⁸

What I see defines who I am becomingpart III

Paolo Friere talks about true words; and I believe that it is a true word that is the catalyst for true ethical inquiry. The process of becoming. Accepting the reality that many things exist in a tension, and moving on towards completion, wholeness; a dynamic equilibrium between that which is, and that which is coming, both in and around us. In a world of idle chatter, false stories, and realities disconnected from their historical contexts, we are all longing for a living word. A word spoken out of a life lived, a word that embodies someone’s interior reality. A living word names, and re-names⁷ that which is wicked, sees beauty in despair, and in so doing, transforms the world that it sees. Friere talks about naming the world, and I too wonder how the way that I see creates and defines the world around me. If what I see is what I bring into existance, than it is imperitive that I focus on that which brings life and hope, for more than smart development strategies, what we need today is hope.

What I see defines who I am becoming- part II

My journey of ethical inquiry has brought me to a place of realizing that although the structures that bring chaos in our world may not change, who I am in response to that world must. Social and economic development cannot originate in another country, rather it is something that must begin in me; my interior landscapes need to be changed daily. I believe that this interior transformation pertains to what I see; that vision is directly connected to who I am becoming. Edward Said talks about one aspect of this in his discussions on Orientalism¹. Specifically referring to western views on the Orient, Said raises an excellent point that truly, how we see the other will define who we are in relationship to them.² My creative piece is a window into this journey of learning to see; an attempt to create a picture of the complex layers of social, historical, and political interconnectedness that tend to shape our lenses of ‘the other’³. Images of people, a single story about them superimposed upon their true story, the whole story⁴, lie beneath layers of a history that is difficult to piece together. I question how the historical exploitation of Latin America has come to define the present day lives of its people⁵ I ask, who are the oppressed? What are the words written across the faces of the other, the “verbalism, the alienated and alienating blah⁶” that I speak, think, and use so often to fabricate stories of the other?

What I see defines who I will be, part 1

What I see defines who I will be.

In asking about my role in a multi-dimensional world, is is easy to get lost in a sea of unfinished stories, fragmented realities, and half truths fused together to create an impossible picture. That impossibility causes me to wrestle towards finding a place of engagement with a world that is out of alignment, a world in which we harm and oppress one another and the beautiful earth that we’ve been given, taking little care for the fragility of life that surrounds. At times I wish I could withdraw from that reality, one that is hostile to hope. I think that innately, we all long for a different way. Perhaps the grief we feel towards the cracking and breaking of humanity is merely evidence that we were meant for something whole. What if we were meant to live glorious lives, in the true sense of the word, that embody justice, exude mercy, and overcome the surrounding darkness?

Hymn 528

Break, day of God, O break,  Sweet light of heavenly skies! I all for thee forsake, and from my dead self rise: O Lamb of God, whose love is light, shine on my soul, and all is bright.

Break, day of God, O break! The night has lingered long; Our hearts with sighing wake, we weep for sin and wrong: O bright and Morning Star, draw near;  O Sun of Righteousness, appear!

Break, day of God, O break! The earth with strife is worn; The hills with thunder shake, hearts of the people mourn;  Break, day of God, sweet day of peace, and bid the shouts of warriors cease!

Break, day of God, O break! Like to the days above!  Let purity awake. And faith, and hope, and love;  But lo!  We see the brightening sky; the golden morn is drawing nigh.  Amen.

Henry Burton, 1840-1930

a pebble in your shoe.

Sometimes carrying these thoughts, ones that challenge the status quo and threaten to dismantle a world built on inequity, is like carrying around an anvil.  I can feel the weight.  I feel like a pebble in your shoe, O world of comfort. A grain of sand whose small presence irritates.  Well, someone has got to ask the question, what are we doing with our lives? 

I am a pebble in my own shoe.  I cannot escape the deafening voice of my conscience that constantly reminds me that my life is not my own, that I belong to another place. I am only temporarily a ‘global citizen’.  My true home, the place from which I come, and the place to which I will return, is a kingdom whose love knows no bounds.  My existence on this earth is but a vaporous wisp- let me never forget.  Let those cords binding me to the way of the world be cut, and let a new freedom to live out my true citizenship emerge.  I am a daughter of a kind King.

Global Citizenship?

What does it mean to be a global citizen if the globe in which we are claiming membership is also home to millions who live disenfranchized lives? What of the millions subject to abject poverty, the 800 million children dying for lack of food while I must practice self control lest I overeat?  How can I utter the words “Global Citizenship” if I am not willing to live them?  How do I live them?

I am becoming extemely uncomfortable with my comfort.  My innmost being is not able to reconcile these two extremes; on one hand, I say that I love God, and that I care for the poor, yet on the other, I struggle to see the latter half reflected in my daily lifestyle.  Something must change. 

Merriam- Webster defines citizenship as follows;  the quality of an individual’s response to membership in a community. 

Doesn’t community imply mutual responsability, care and concern for one another? How can I claim to belong to a global community in which I don’t know my neighbours’ struggles, their stories, their histories?

I have been trying to accept the way things are, and convince myself that it is alright, but I cannot utter those words, ‘global citizenship’, in one breath, and turn around and lead a life removed from the needs of the poor and destitute of this earth in the other.  But what are those needs?  How do I set about becoming a solution?  It is God who raises the poor out of the dust and sets them among kings and princes, it is God who hears their cry.  If I am in Him, and He is in me, must I not also heed that cry, and respond?

God help me.

International “Development” and the space between.

School has a funny way of getting under my skin.  Talks given by professors months ago ruminate in my mind, and suddenly, my somewhat foolproof worldview has been dismantled piece by piece.   Maybe I am exaggerating.  Then again, maybe not.

A vein of thought that has recently been distilled for me into a clear realization is that I don’t believe in international development. I believe in relationships.  Months of questions about international engagement have brought me to this place in which I am forced to reject the current model of “international development”.  Feeling rather as if I am in a hot air balloon, without much control yet on an amazing adventure in which I am learning to see things from a brand new perspective, I have suddenly floated into a new place.  Development- does that have a place in friendships?  Do I seek to develop my friends, my family?  I know that when I do, it ends in failure, and usually I walk away feeling remorseful because of my own pride.  If ‘development’ has no place in the most intimate of relationships in my life, how can I muster the pretense that it has a place in my relationships, or complete lack thereof, with people whom I have yet to meet and nations that are not my own?

The whole paradigm of international development has lost its fizz -it is of an era that is quicky fading into yesterday for something new is on the horizon- I believe that as I/we come to a place of recognizing and embracing our own poverty, we will walk in a new humilty in which the old model of seeking to develop someone else, will be inconceivable.   There is simply something new that is emerging in my heart- a way of pursuing life that is not based on my own development, or that of my resume, but on a continual process of transformation from the inside out.

People are not a project and nations are not an experiment on economic policy or agricultural technology.  There is a space between; a life lived in the dynamic equilibrium between the old and the new- the old is quickly becoming obsolete, the coming of the new is like the hint of sun rising over the mountains in the still morning dawn.  Could it be that what seems new is simply a return to the old ways, a turning from the crooked ways of this world and a pursuit of a path less traveled.  We are moving towards something so old it looks new, yet like the flower bud on the beautiful bush outside my house; it is there, has always been there, yet offers brand new flowers again this spring.   My longing for a new way seems to be unique, and it is, for me.   Yet like the budding bush outside of my house, or the sun that rises every morning, it has blossomed and it has risen in era’s gone past, dropped its petals, died, traveled the earth, and set, and come to life again many times over.  The rising and setting of the sun is new every day, yet never changes.  Amidst the repetition, it is new today.  Will we see it this time, and embrace it?